I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize