If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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