I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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