i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
