Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
