I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
