Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize