Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
this is an emotional support booty call
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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