chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
