it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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