great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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