then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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