omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
