a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
