I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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