i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
