It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
