Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
