It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
