bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
