He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
