Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
