i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
