party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize