I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So drunk its hurt
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
