he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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