Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
