Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
