if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
