Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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