batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
