chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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