I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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