i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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