i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I need a beard to bite.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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