so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
