Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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