So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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