Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
