This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
