Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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