I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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