used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
