I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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