OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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