let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
