Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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