The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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