Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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