That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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