I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
