pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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