Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
