The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize