like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
