he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
