the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
