just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize