I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
